How to Avoid Needing a Divorce Lawyer

Over the last twenty-five years, I have had occasion to witness the demise of relationships that, in all likelihood, could have been saved. In an effort to educate those who may be willing to consider the idea of “trying again”, please note the following:

  1. Punching your fiancée’s father the night before the wedding may shorten the longevity of your future marriage;
  2. Giving your spouse a pamphlet from the local gym at your first wedding anniversary may have a chilling effect on the conjugal visit anticipated later that evening;
  3. Tweeting that your spouse is the reproductive product of a horse and a donkey may be misinterpreted by your true love;
  4. Dating while married usually accelerates the demise of “good will” amongst spouses;
  5. Cleaning out the joint bank accounts, secretly selling the car your spouse is driving, or slowly siphoning funds to an off-shore account in your sister’s name might make you a “person of interest” to the Federal government and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

The above may be obvious; the truth however centers on the relationship itself. Marriage is an ever changing landscape that requires the focused commitment of each party involved. It not only requires a willing dedication to the relationship (not the institution), but a commitment to lovingly confront behaviors, feelings, or even emotional issues in oneself. This can be a daunting challenge but being emotionally healthy requires the honesty of each person about the other and about themselves. The current, socially accepted thought that each person can live in any way chosen and be married is deceptive and usually destroys the marriage ultimately. Conversely, however, confrontation can become abusive without the involvement of a qualified third party such as a marriage counselor to balance the emotions of the parties.

Divorce is not the inevitable end to marital relationships that seem broken. If the people involved are willing to participate in a process of identifying and addressing issues in themselves and in each other, the relationship can be preserved and will often strengthen. If one person is not willing to undertake this process, the relationship will not change because relationships do not “heal” themselves. It requires the parties involved to be willing to come together jointly that allows healing to take place. This, after all, is what marriage is all about.

If you have further questions or need further information on avoid needing a divorce lawyer, please contact me at:lhudson@hudsonfamilylaw.com or (561)472-0805.

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