Marriage from the Other Side

During the course of my legal practice as a family law attorney, I have gained a perspective of marriage and divorce to which few are privy. Marriage (the institution) sometimes replaces Marriage (the relationship) as the goal of one or both parties. Interestingly, in these instances, those endorsing the institution rail that divorce is the devilish pariah that is destroying the fabric of society. The proponents of marriage as a relationship understand that divorce allows for the healthy disengagement of a non-existent or even toxic relationship.

Publicly, I have spoken on both marriage and divorce. Almost every time, there is at least one heckler in the crowd who says – “I can do it myself; what do I need you for?” My answer is usually the same: “If you needed a root canal, would you try to do it yourself?” The loss of any significant relationship is devastating. The loss of a marriage has been likened by many psychologists to death only without the closure of a funeral. Yet, at this juncture, circumstances and competing legal agendas require clear and well thought out decisions. In this sea of tumultuous change, the hiring of a professional team to create objectivity in the moment and make plans for the future becomes a necessity, not a luxury.

Time and again I meet with people who have chosen to “do it themselves.” In most instances they are sitting in my office because they have realized, too late, that the great deal they thought they negotiated without lawyers left them with no future and very little present. Once a divorce judgment is signed, for all practical purposes, it cannot be changed except under extraordinary circumstances. Every divorce case is complex and evolving even if the legal issues are streamlined. Attorneys are not “one size fits all.” Finding a professional who is qualified and who understand the goals and factors that contribute to the complexity of the case is THE most important decision made by a party. Prior to either a marriage or divorce, it is wise to consult a family law attorney to accurately assess your rights in making these momentous decisions.

For more information about marriage from the other side or to request a consultation, please contact me at: or at: (561)472-0805 .

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